Blind, Deaf and Mute Justice 3

Actual Laws On The Books

Part III of V

Massachusetts
It is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder.

Michigan
It is illegal to loiter in the city morgue in Detroit.

Minnesota
It is illegal to sleep naked.

Mississippi
In Temperance: You can't walk a dog

without dressing it in diapers.

Missouri
Installation of bathtubs with four legs

resembling animal paws is prohibited.

Montana
It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck

without a chaperone.

Nebraska
In Lehigh: Doughnut holes may not be sold.

Nevada
In Reno: It is illegal to conceal a spray-painted shopping cart

in your basement.

New Hampshire
On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.

New Jersey
In Cresskill: All cats must wear three bells

to warn birds of their whereabouts.

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source:http://www.bored.com/crazylaws/index.htm

Blind, Deaf and Mute Justice 2

Actual Laws On The Books
Part II of V

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Each state will be listed in this new section called
"Blind, Deaf and Mute Justice"

Hawaii
It is unlawful to annoy any bird.

Idaho
In Pocatello: A person may not be seen in public

without a smile on their face.

Illinois
In Fairfield: It is unlawful for "Negroes" to be within

county boundaries from sundown to sunrise.

Indiana
It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.

Iowa
You may shoot Native Americans if there are more than five of them

on your property at any one time.

Kansas
It is illegal to hunt whales.

Kentucky
A woman may not buy a hat

without her husband's permission.

Louisiana
It illegal for a woman to drive a car

unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it.

Maine
After January 14th you will be charged a fine

for having your Christmas decorations still up.

Maryland
It's illegal to take a lion to the movies.

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source:http://www.bored.com/crazylaws/index.htm

Blind, Deaf and Mute Justice 1

Actual Laws On The Books

Part I of V

.

.

Each state will be listed in this new section called

"Blind, Deaf and Mute Justice"

Alabama
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.

Alaska
It is considered an offense to push a live moose

out of a moving airplane.

Arizona
You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

Arkansas
A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair

will not get a raise.

California
In California you may not set a mouse trap

without a hunting license.

Colorado
It is illegal for a woman wearing a red dress

to be out on the streets after 7 PM.

Connecticut
The marriage of imbeciles and feeble-minded persons

is prohibited.

Delaware
In Delaware you may not sell dead people for money

without a license.

Florida
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

Georgia
Against the law to tie a giraffe

to a telephone pole or street lamp.

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source:http://www.bored.com/crazylaws/index.htm

A Little Vacation.

My Mother and Sister Virginia are visiting from Ohio. Sorry for the light posts this weekend. They are here through Tuesday, and I will have lots to talk about once I rest up and wind down.

Mav Out...

Iraq Stats

Support our troops and bring them home.

Stop This Illegal War.

As of November 25, 2007 there have been:

.
3,876 Soldiers Killed.

28,530 Soldiers Seriously Injured.

77,327 - 84,244 documented Iraqi Civilian Deaths.
(Civilians NOT Terrorists.)

ZERO - Military Funerals attended by the President.

ZERO - Presidential trips to Dover to view the arrival of the flag draped coffins of our returning heroes.

and it has been 1,670 days since "Mission Accomplished"
.

Information gathered from:
http://www.antiwar.com/casualties/
http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
http://www.iraqbodycount.org/

Happy Kill A Bird Day

.

.
Big dinner is done.

The bones are picked and packaged to make sandwiches later.

The dishwasher is run and everything is clean, clean, clean.

.

I gave King Chessie three pieces of turkey

and he went into a sleep coma.

I guess the tryptophan works on cats too.

.

I fixed:

.

The $2.57 Turkey (Duh)

Baked Sweet Potatoes

Cranberry Apple Pear Chutney

Tabbouleh

&

Hot Rolls

.

It was all very good.

.

Mom and Virginia are coming to visit tomorrow.

Mom is going to make me a triple chocolate cheesecake.

Dlisted's Caption This Contest

http://www.dlisted.com/ is a celebrity gossip blog written by "Michael K". It is updated all through the day and is filled with celebrity news followed by the blogger's snarky comments. I go there every day and it is listed on the right in my hot spots sections of recommended web pages.

A regular feature on his site is the "Caption This" Contest. He puts on a picture from the web and bloggers go into the comments section and try to write a funny caption. He picks a winner the next day and a runner up. To be honest I sometimes find some of the other non picked captions funnier, but it is his site and it is whatever makes him laugh. He finds some of the most outrageous and hilarious pictures from I do not know where. I go on every day and I try and try to come up with something witty and fresh to say. I have been going there for over 2 years and have come up empty handed every time.

Well, yesterday I went there and saw the picture and came up with a saying and submitted it. Then thought about it for a while and submitted a second caption. My second entry, in my opinion was smart and funny. It even made me laugh out loud. I knew I had won today. I just knew it. I had it in the bag.

Today, I went to the site and read through all of today's celeb gossip and scrolled down to to find the section where Michael K posts the previous day's winning caption. Mine has never won and I never expect to see mine there, but today I just had a feeling that my entry was there. So I slowly scroll the page down to reveal the winner. Nope, it wasn't mine. So I slowly scroll down to reveal the runner up. I visualized my words in my mind eyes and imagine my surprise when my side splitting (to me anyway) caption was not there. A moment of disappointment flooded over me. Oh the tragedy. Oh the injustice.

.

But I had the feeling that I was going to be chosen.

.

What happened???

Then I read the captions and to my surprise there as the runner up was my first caption. I was thrilled and pained at the same time. I was overjoyed to be chosen but disappointed that my wittier response went unnoticed.

I will end this post by saying: go to http://dlisted.com/node/18550 to view the picture and my caption.

Even though I am looking at the win as glass half empty, It is truly an honor to have been picked.

.

Thank You Michael K.


mav out...

Update:

My second caption was:

"This is a little trick I like to call the Manilla Folder."

A Cheap Bird

I went shopping yesterday and got my turkey for $2.57.

I did some major grocery shopping and when the sales lady was done ringing up my order and took off my coupons I saved $121.00.

My freezer is now full.

Iraq Stats

Support our troops and bring them home.
Stop This Illegal War.

.
As of November 18, 2007 there have been:
.

3,868 Soldiers Killed.
28,489 Soldiers Seriously Injured.
77,282 - 84,199 documented Iraqi Civilian Deaths.

(Civilians NOT Terrorists.)
ZERO - Military Funerals attended by the President.
ZERO - Presidential trips to Dover
to view the arrival of the flag draped coffins of our returning heroes.
.
and it has been 1,663 days since "Mission Accomplished"

.

.
Information gathered from:

http://www.antiwar.com/casualties/

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx

http://www.iraqbodycount.org/

Crazy Turkey Prices

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Turkey Wars

The Grocery Store Ads came out yesterday, and I was looking through them to make my grocery list for the week. I am also planning our Thanksgiving Dinner menu.

We were not going to do a big dinner because Mom and my sister Virginia were coming over for a visit from Friday through Tuesday. We figured we would cook some kind of big meal or go out to eat somewhere special over the weekend. Besides, Charley has to work the Midnight Shift on Thanksgiving eve and night.

Then I found out that work is giving everyone a free turkey, so we said the hell with it and decided to do a scaled back dinner and then package up the extra turkey and freeze for later meals.

So back to Sales Ads and my menu making. There seems to be a Turkey War going on at the grocery stores. First it was "Shop here for 4 weeks and get a free turkey" but now the war has turned bloody. All of the different ads state "We will NOT be undersold" and the prices in the ads rage from 25 cents to 39 cents a pound, and all stores say they will match the lowest price in town.

Our dinner will just be for Charley and I, so if I had to buy one, a 10 pound turkey would have been fine for us.

That comes to $2.50.

"TWO DOLLARS & FIFTY FREAKING CENTS !!!"

That is just plain crazy.

Remember when the turkey was the most expensive thing about the meal.

Ten things that are more expensive than a turkey this year:

A 5 lb Bag Of Russet Potatoes

A Happy Meal At McDonald's

A 12 Pack of Pepsi

A Bag Of Doritos

A Pack of Cheap Cigarettes

A Whole Chicken

A Gallon Of Milk

A Pumpkin Pie

A Pound Of Butter

&

A Small Cup Of Coffee At Starbucks

.

The price of turkeys may be crazy, but I am not.

I will be buying an extra turkey.

.

Afterall, I can sit on my butt at work for 15 minutes making out my shopping list and my turkey is paid for. (insert maniacal laughing)

.

Mav out...

.

PS. One last thing, when they hand me my free turkey at work, I should say,"Thank You so much for my $2.50 Thanksgiving bonus, you Cheap Bastards" (insert crying here)

Silver Platterists: The 24 Women of "Sing"

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Hot $#!7 on a Silver Platter:

Annie Lennox and the Ladies of "Sing"




Annie Lennox called some of the biggest female music stars in the world to come together to record a song to highlight the plight of Women with AIDS in Africa.

23 fellow stars put aside egos, answered the call and joined Annie in the recording of this fantastic charity track.

Annie and Madonna sing the verses and the remaining classy ladies of music sing harmony and chorus. They are joined on the track by the South African Acapella group "The Generics"

It is available on Annie Lennox's cd "Songs of Mass Destruction." A CD Single with remixes and possible all star video will be available on December 1st (World AIDS Day).

I would love to see all of these lovely ladies step out on the stage together and open the Grammy's this spring. Wouldn't that be a dream performance that you would never forget.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

The Ladies of "Sing":

Annie Lennox

Madonna

Celine Dion

P!nk

Shakira

KT Turnstall

Dido

Faith Hill

Fergie

Amelle, Heidi & Keisha of The Sugababes

Beth Orton

Bonnie Raitt

Martha Wainwright

Joss Stone

Melissa Etheridge

Angelique Kidjo

Beverly Knight

k.d. lang

Shingai Shoniwa

Gladys Knight

Isobel Campbell

Sarah MacLachlan

.

with The Generics

.

.

To find out more information go to:

http://www.myspace.com/annielennoxsing

Iraq Stats

Support our troops and bring them home.

Stop This Illegal War.

As of November 11, 2007 there have been:

.

3,860 Soldiers Killed.

28,451 Soldiers Seriously Injured.

76,577 - 83,420 documented Iraqi Civilian Deaths.
(Civilians NOT Terrorists.)

ZERO - Military Funerals attended by the President.

ZERO - Presidential trips to Dover

to view the arrival of the flag draped coffins of our returning heroes.

.

and it has been 1,656 days since "Mission Accomplished".
.

Information gathered from:
http://www.antiwar.com/casualties/
http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
http://www.iraqbodycount.org/

Veteran's Day

Take some time to appreciate your freedoms

by

thanking a Veteran for their service.

Dixie Cupper: Mitt Romney

Cold Turd in a Dixie Cup: Mitt Romney

While speaking at a college in rural Iowa, Presidential Hopeful Mitt Romney stated that he thinks a child would be better off with a dead parent rather than a gay one.

Oh! What a dumb ass.

To read complete article about this asswipe go to: http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-5944.html

Silver Platterists vs Dixie Cuppers

I have been thinking about adding a new semi-regular posting about people in the news that either:

Make me cheer or make me cringe.

Something like "Hero of the Day" or "Dirtbag of the Week"

I think you get the idea.

I was trying to think of a clever title for each catergory that didn't steal from other sites.

(ie: http://www.dlisted.com/ "Hot Slut Of The Day" - which is a honor to get by the way).

I was thinking about phrases that describe people that think the are soooo great, when I remembered a little ditty we used to say when we were young. You know - about a thousand years ago.

It was: "You think you're hot shit on a silver platter, but you're just a cold turd in a dixie cup. "

So when I post about the people that I like (people who really are Hot Shit), they will be listed as a "Silver Platterist"

And when I post about the people that make me crazy (ie; people like GWB or Bill O'Reilly), they will be listed as a "Dixie Cupper"

I am going to work on a graphic for each category and will post, once I find what I am looking for.

Come back later to see who I have chosen to be first winner of the Golden Dixie Cup.

Mav Out ...

Song Of The Week

How Deep Is Your Love
by: The Bird And The Bee
(Music and Lyrics by the Bee Gees)

I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I want to feel you in my arms again
.
And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love and then softly leave
And it’s me you need to show
.
How deep is your love
Is Your Love
How deep is your love
I really need to learn
’Cause we’re living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
They should all let us be
We belong to you and me
.
I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You’re the light in my deepest darkest hour
You’re my savoir when I fall
.
And you may not think that I care for you
Well you know down inside that I really do
And it’s me you need to show
.
How deep is your love
Is Your Love
How deep is your love
I really need to learn
’Cause we’re living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
They should all let us be
We belong to you and me

Cents Off and Sensibility

I was still under the weather a little this week, so I am going to hit the highlights:

I got to the end of season 3 of Grey's Anatomy on the DVDs.

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I watched "Logan's Run" - I didn't remember all the nudity and sex in the movie.

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I watched "Sense and Sensibility" and cried my ever-loving eyes out. Kate Winslet as Marianne crying for Willoughby in the rain just kills me every time. Alan Rickman is perfect in every scene. He doesn't have many lines or say very much, but you can see it in his eyes that he loves Marianne and will until the day he dies. Why this great actor doesn't have an Oscar is a true crime.

.

TV highlights include of course Grey's Anatomy, Brothers & Sisters and the return of the Amazing Race.

.

I went grocery shopping on Saturday (One of my favorite things to do - sick I know, but I just love it) I am a master at saving money at the market. After the cashier totaled up my bill I had saved $81.29 with coupons.

.

Charley and I went to dinner at Texas Steakhouse on Saturday. The food was wonderful and I had a $10.00 coupon as well. HA!

.

Well, I think this will be the end.

.

Mav Out...

Iraq Stats

Support our troops and bring them home.
Stop This Illegal War
.
As of November 4, 2007 there have been:
.
3,849 Soldiers Killed.
28,385 Soldiers Seriously Injured.
76,213 - 83,029 documented Iraqi Civilian Deaths.

(Civilians NOT Terrorists.)
.
And it has been 1,649 days since "Mission Accomplished".

.
Information gathered from:

http://www.antiwar.com/casualties/

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx

http://www.iraqbodycount.org/