Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The "Broads" Of The Year

The dictionary defines the word "broad" as a slang term for woman, it is usually considered derogatory. I think it is a badge of honor to be called a "Broad". A "Broad", to me is someone who tells it likes it is, who doesn't give a rat's ass what others think and who is incredibly ballsy in everything they do. It is a title that comes with age. A young girl could never be a broad, they haven't earned that knowledge and experience yet. 
Some classic broads are: 
Mae West, 
Bea Arthur, 
Suzanne Pleshette, 
Bette Midler 
and of course my mother. 
These are my picks for the "Broads" of the year.

Dame Helen Mirren at 63
Kathy Griffin at 48

Jennifer Tilly at 50
Tabatha Coffey at 39

Cyndi Lauper at 55
Derogatory, my ass, it's a great club to be in.
Feel free to add your favorite "Broads" in the comment section.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

The 2008 Silver Platterist of the Year: Cyndi Lauper


Grammy Award Winning Singer/Songwriter

Emmy Award Winning Actress

Human Rights Activist

Rainbow Warrior


Let’s start with the music. 



As I have previously stated in my other year end lists. Cyndi Lauper’s CD “Bring Ya To The Brink” is my favorite release of the year.  It is a dance music compilation that has smart and heartfelt lyrics. 


Cyndi stated when it was released, "This is an album that can be experienced in two completely different ways," It is a "dance album, one that you can move to and enjoy on a surface level. But if you want more than that, there's a lot to discover inside the lyrics. There are times when these songs get pretty deep." 


In the song Echo (my favorite song of the year by anyone) she describes a relationship and a life that seems routine and distant but at the bridge to the chorus she reassures that “Everyplace I go, though I never told you so, echo home” and the simple chorus shows that her love is eternal. “All of my days, all of my life, standing by you. All of my days, all of my life, I will find you.” 


On another dance song, Raging Storm, she sings about how the government and the media are hiding what is really important in the world with distractions and slight of hand. The stunning lyrics address everything from homelessness, civil liberties and the Iraq War. IE: “These are darker times for me. Behind smoke and mirrors – amputees. There’s a raging storm and a troubled sea, but you’re clouding my mind with celebrity.” 


The grammy nominated album is truly brilliant. 

It is one of the best in years.




The True Colors Tour


Last year Cyndi started the “True Colors Tour.” 2008 was the 2nd annual month long event, where Cyndi and many other gay or gay friendly musicians and comedians tour the country promoting support and raising funds for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community. The goal of equality is at the heart of True Colors. From day one, the tour has sought to raise awareness about the discrimination the GLBT community still faces and to provide concert goers with the information and tools they need to make a difference. 



Cyndi has had a huge gay following from the beginning of her career, but her support and love of the gay community is in response to the love she feels for her gay sister and other friends that are from the GLBT community. She feels that everyone deserves the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and has always been very vocal about how she doesn’t understand how people can be so cruel to their fellow man.


The tour is named after the song she wrote for her friend. The song has become an anthem for people that cherish and support the GLBT loved ones in their life.


True Colors

By: Cyndi Lauper


You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh, I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors 
Are beautiful like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy
Can't remember when
I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
Your true colors
Are beautiful like a rainbow

In the spring of 2008 Cyndi announced another project in support of the GLBT Community.




The True Colors Residence in NYC.


I will let Cyndi tell you about this amazing project herself. 

Here is a letter she posted on her website 

announcing the next part of her crusade of love and caring.


Dear Friend,
New York City, a very disproportionate number (up to 40%), of homeless youth identify as GLBT. Even more disturbing are reports that these young people often face discrimination and at times physical assault in some at the very places they have to go for help. This is shocking and inexcusable!


That's why my manager, Lisa Barbaris and I are collaborating with Colleen Jackson and West End Intergenerational Residence to create the True Colors Residence, a permanent supportive housing program for homeless GLBT youth 18-24 years old.


We'll be building from the ground up so our residents will have a brand new, modern building with studio apartments for each resident and both indoor and outdoor community space to socialize or attend education and recreation programs. Each resident will be responsible for paying affordable rent based on their income and will receive ongoing assistance in obtaining employment best suited to their individual interests and skills. Although True Colors Residence will not require participation in its programs, a variety of social and educational support services will be available to all who request them. Our primary goal is to provide a physically and emotionally safe and supportive environment that will empower our young residents to be the self-loving, happy, and successful individuals they were meant to be.


I am proud to work with Colleen and West End on such an exciting and important project as the True Colors Residence and I ask for your support as we move forward.




Cyndi Lauper


 If you’re lost

You can look

And you will find me

Time after time


If you fall

I will catch you

I’ll be waiting

Time after time


- Cyndi Lauper



Links to Cyndi's Sites

to read more about her

and support her crusades:


Most Played Songs Of 2008



By: Cyndi Lauper


“Into The Night Life”

By: Cyndi Lauper


“Headphones (Almighty Anthem Mix)”

By: LeAnn Rimes


“Under Attack (Almighty 12” Anthem Mix)”

By: Abbacadabra


“Steppin’ Out”

By: Kaskade


“Can’t Have It All”

By: Jay Brannan


“Reach Out (Joe Bermudez Chico Original Demo)”

By: Hillary Duff w/ The Prophet


“Everything’s Going To Be Alright (Reborn)

By: Sweetbox featuring Jade & Toby


“Let Your Love Flow (7th Heaven Club Mix)”

By: Mike Melange & Alan Connor


“Like An Angel Passing Through My Room”

By: Madonna


This list was generated from the "Most Played Tracks" playlist on my ipod. Last year I shared my top 20. This year was soooo overwhelmingly dominated by "Cyndi Lauper's Bring Ya To The Brink" Cd that I had to eliminate the other 10 songs on the album  from the list so that you wouldn't think I was a crazy fool. According to my ipod I have played the cd over 100 times since it came out on August 1st. The top 2 Cyndi songs were played three times as many as the rest of the top ten. Cyndi's CD is the BEST album of the year and her best since her debut. It is really brilliant. Look for more on Cyndi in an upcoming post.


Saturday, December 27, 2008

Now That's My Kind Of Picnic

At the picnics I remember,
we just grilled the wieners.

Crappy Place To Live

When I was in grade school, 
my bus driver's name was Harry Butt. 
I wonder if this is where he lived.

Alcohol Makes Everything Better


Friday, December 26, 2008

The Best Of Everything Awards 2008

My list contains things that I have
read, heard, seen or discovered this year.
If you don't agree, well then, write your own blog.
It may not be as exciting as say 
"VH1's 100 Hottest Hottie Hook-Ups"
or some other inane BS show they air, but what the hell.
Here it goes.
The Best:

Love Actually
Not a 2008 Movie, 
but I just saw it this year.

Echo - Cyndi Lauper

Bring Ya To The Brink - Cyndi Lauper

Female Singer
Cyndi Lauper

Male Singer
Jay Brannan

Music Video
Pink's So What


TV Show Comedy
Sordid Lives

TV Show Drama
Brothers And Sisters
Reality Competition Show
Big Brother

Reality Show
Kathy Griffin - My Life On The D-List
TV Comedian
Chelsea Handler of E!'s "Chelsea Lately"

Internet Video
Tina Fey as Sarah Palin on SNL
saying, "I can see Russia from my house"

BBC 1's Scott Mills Daily

News Story of the Year
Obama wins in a landslide

Joseph Hansen's Jack Of Hearts

Non-Fiction Book
David Putnam's 
The Undeclared War: 
Struggle For Control Of The World's Film Industry

Computer Game
Mad Caps

Computer Download
Safari Internet Browser
Male Hotness
Singer: Jay Brannan

Female Hotness
Jennifer Tilly

Guilty Pleasure
Hilary Duff's Single: Reach Out


The Morning After

It's nice that St. Nick can unwind
 after a long night of hard work.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

It's A Girl !

Needless to say, Joseph was a little shocked.

It Must Really Be Something Special

to get that kind of reaction 
from a pussy ... 

I can think of about 100 other captions.
Feel free to write your own punch line.

The Kid Speaks The Truth

Who doesn't like hores? 

My favorite part is:
 "You wouldn't think they could,
 but they can put their legs straight up."

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Oy Vey!

Ham For Chanukah ?!?

Sunday, December 21, 2008

What's New Pussycat? Whoa-o-o-o


10 Things That Sound Dirty At Christmas, But Aren’t

10. Did you get any under the tree?
 9. I think your balls are hanging too low.
 8. He'll be coming down the chimney tonight!
 7. Santa’s sack is really bulging.
 6. Lift up the skirt, so you can tell if it's wet or dry.
 5. Did you see the size of her box?
 4. I love licking the end till it’s really sharp and pointy.
 3. From here, you can’t tell if they’re artificial or real.
 2. I wish your dad would stay out of the stockings.
 1. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Marriage Equality Flag

The flag is based in the custom of 19th century suffragettes. At their annual convention they would add a star to the flag for each state that had adopted a women's right to vote. Although there is no official order - the stars are generally read right to left in the order they were admitted to the Union. Represented are - Massachusetts and Connecticut. 
After each victory more stars will be added.
One day it will be filled again and there will be no second class citizens. 

Meet Me Under The Mistletoe

It's A Dog's Life

Friday, December 19, 2008

This Is Just Plain Stupid

Look up the word "A-Hole" in the dictionary 
and you will find a picture of this guy.

This reminds me of the woman 
with the fingernails 
that are three feet long.
Welcome to the Dumb Ass Club.
There will always be plenty of candidates.
All you have to do is be a gigantic douche bag.

He Came To Life One Day

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Mav's Disclaimer

I noticed that I have been posting a lot of risque humor of late. 
I thought about maybe toning it down for a bit, 
but then I decided ... 
"F@*k 'Em if they can't take a joke"
Life is too short - Be naughty.

Christmas Is Only A Week Away ...

Ho       -       Ho       -       Ho


The Eighties Called ...

and they don't want your mullet back either.
Mullet - check
Rolled Up T-shirt Sleeves - check
Too Tight Jeans - check
Cell Phone Attached To Hip - check
Ding Ding Ding...
Somebody's living in the 80's 
and is in need of a makeover.
Does anybody have the number 
for the show "What Not To Wear"
I would bet money that he has pegged cuffs on his jeans
 and is wearing brown Doc Martin hiking boots.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

If The Shoe Fits, Throw It

It is funny how the other guy didn't duck. 
It's like he knew, he wasn't the target.

Somebody Stole My Christmas Present

I received a package from my mother for Christmas today. She made us two fuzzy green throws and a matching pillow. The are warm and nice to cuddled up in on the couch. I laid it on the foot stool while I went to work on supper and came back to the living room to discover a present thief.  


I guess Mom needs to get me something else now, 
because there is no way 
Chessie is letting me have it back.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Do You Want Fries With Your Bitch Slap?

I'll have the knuckle sandwich.

But What Do They Taste Like?

Gummy Candies shaped like Lighthouses
do you see something else?

So now I know what my mother's fascination
 with the North East
 and Lighthouses is all about.

Not In My Family

Found In Kids Puzzle Book.
Crazy Huh?

Monday, December 15, 2008

Just So You Know ...

Trust me, when I tell you ...
they are laughing AT you
not WITH you.

Official Bush Portrait

Just like I have been saying all along,
Bush is a giant A-Hole.