Saturday, February 28, 2009

Do You Have A Dirty Mind?


.
She is talking about her new wallpaper, 
you dirty pervert.
.

How To Tell ...

.
if a speeder is Catholic.

Happy National Tooth Fairy Day


.
In this economy
 the tooth fairy 
had to take a second job
 to make ends meet. 
.
Luckily a position
 as street sweeper became available.
.

Friday, February 27, 2009

I Didn't Know Viagra Made Plant Food


.
The new landscaping at the urologist office 
has been getting a lot of compliments.
.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Men Are From Mars & Women Are From Venus

.
Just so you know, 
some men come from Venus too.
.
.
The hilarious Dame Edna 
(AKA Barry Humphries) 
turned 75 last week.
.
Here is one of the few men
 in the world that qualifies
 to be added to the 
Sassy Old Broads List. 
.
Happy Birthday, 
you sexy bitch.
.

What The Hell?


.

Invite Bill And Hillary To Your Next Party


.
The Bill Clinton Cork Screw
.

.
The Hillary Clinton Nutcracker
.
This company really knows how 
to honor our leaders. 
Let me guess, 
the next new item they are going to sell
 is the Barack Obama Watermelon Fork. 
.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I Love Graffiti Protesters.

.
This billboard was placed
by one of those ridiculous churches
that hold seminars on how homosexuality can be changed.
.
Some gay rights protesters covered the words (cough lies cough),
telling people that this church has the way
to save you from torment and sin.
.
.
If your sexuality could be changed by praying,
than every tortured teen that prays to be straight,
would be.
.
Besides the fact that the Graffiti Protesters are trying to make a point,
you have to admit that it is pretty damn funny too.
.

Well, Duh!

.

Monday, February 23, 2009

There's A Difference ...

.
... between being the boss and being bossy.
.
.
Hey Boss.
After I wipe it,
 will you kiss it?
.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Well, God Bless America


.
Nice to see real patriots treating 
"Old Glory"
 with the respect and honor 
it deserves.
.
Introducing the newest members of 
"The Dumb Ass Club". 
,

Boys Will Be Boys


.

Me Either


.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

What A Feeling...

"Flashdance 2"
.

.
This time it's a story
 of a streetwalker
 that dreams of going to ballet school.
.
See, whore's have dreams too.
.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Hide In Plain Site

.

.
You can't see me.
.

It Must Be Their 5th Anniversary ...

.
 because Lisa received the gift of wood.
.

.
Lisa tried being a lesbian once, 
but alas it was not for her.
.

You're NOT Welcome

.

.
Either they were all out of "Welcome" mats
.
or
.
The people that live here are
 a bunch of grouchy bitches.
.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Modern Bedtime Stories

.

.

.

It's Laundry Day ...

.
... and I didn't have anything to wear to the store. 
So I just threw on the last thing that was in my closet.
.

.

Going To The Dogs

.
They were all out of "Beggin' Strips".
.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Big Mac Or Big Crack?


.
So that's the reason
 the food tastes so shitty.
.

Cat Got Your ...


.
Now his breath
 is going to 
taste like pussy 
all day.
.

The Sanctity Of Marriage Part 2


.
If these assholes 
are allowed to marry, 
why can't I?
.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Moving On Up ...


.

Huh?


.
I always thought Gay St. went the "other way".
.
I think it's a different street that goes "both ways."
.

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted ...

.

.
For those that are interested, 
we will be in Ohio for a little vacation
 to visit the family from 
March 18th through the 21st. 
.
Look Out, Ohio! 
Here comes the "Pisser"
.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Have It Your Way


.
Those Burger King Ads
 just keep getting 
creepier and creepier. 
.
They kind of make me lose
 my appetite for their food.
.

Mother Nature Is A Dirty Wench


.
Always eats your vegetables.
.

Inappropriate Laughter


.
If you laugh at this, 
you are going straight to hell.
.
See you there.
.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Sound Advice

.

.

Do They Wobble To An Fro?

.

.

The Pisser's Travel Guide

.
5 towns you should visits
 at least once in your life.
.

.
Hooker, Oklahoma
.

.
Wetwang, England
.

.
Titty - Ho, England
.

.
Dildo, Newfoundland, Canada
.
.
Fucking, Austria
.
This is such a great place, 
I suggest you visit here often.
.
.
When you leave each of these towns, 
do they have a sign that reads 
"Thanks For Coming"?

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Honoring The Youth And Elderly


.
Don't blame me,
 I didn't make it.
I just laughed at it.
.

Love, Soft As An Easy Chair ...

.

.

.

.
.

.

Bad News ~ Good News

Lee Redmond was in a car wreck this week and broke all ten of her world record length fingernails. She hadn't cut her nails in thirty years and has appeared on TV many times showing off all 28 feet of them.
.

.
The Bad News:
.
She Lost Her Place In 
The Guinness Book Of World Records
.
The Good News:
.
Today, 
For The First Time Since 1979, 
She Wiped Her Ass. 
.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Ain't She Sweet ...


"Screw you!
I said I wanted Pampers 
and you buy me the freaking Huggies - again!
Damn Woman, you sure are stupid."
.

Remember, It's Limited


.
"The Life Of Christ In Cats"
Commemorative Plate.
.
Someone is going straight to hell, 
and for once, 
it's not me.
.

Thursday, February 12, 2009