Do You Have A Dirty Mind?

.

She is talking about her new wallpaper, 

you dirty pervert.

.

How To Tell ...

.

if a speeder is Catholic.

. 

Happy National Tooth Fairy Day

.

In this economy

 the tooth fairy 

had to take a second job

 to make ends meet. 

.

Luckily a position

 as street sweeper became available.

.

I Didn't Know Viagra Made Plant Food

.

The new landscaping at the urologist office 

has been getting a lot of compliments.

.

It Must Be A CATctus

.

Get In Line

.

She must be a very friendly girl.

.

Men Are From Mars & Women Are From Venus

.

Just so you know, 

some men come from Venus too.

.

.

The hilarious Dame Edna 

(AKA Barry Humphries) 

turned 75 last week.

.

Here is one of the few men

 in the world that qualifies

 to be added to the 

Sassy Old Broads List. 

.

Happy Birthday, 

you sexy bitch.

.

What The Hell?

.

Invite Bill And Hillary To Your Next Party

.

The Bill Clinton Cork Screw

.

.

The Hillary Clinton Nutcracker

.

This company really knows how 

to honor our leaders. 

Let me guess, 

the next new item they are going to sell

 is the Barack Obama Watermelon Fork. 

.

I Love Graffiti Protesters.

.

This billboard was placed

by one of those ridiculous churches

that hold seminars on how homosexuality can be changed.

.

Some gay rights protesters covered the words (cough lies cough),

telling people that this church has the way

to save you from torment and sin.

.

.

If your sexuality could be changed by praying,

than every tortured teen that prays to be straight,

would be.

.

Besides the fact that the Graffiti Protesters are trying to make a point,

you have to admit that it is pretty damn funny too.

.

Well, Duh!

.

There's A Difference ...

.

... between being the boss and being bossy.

.

.

Hey Boss.

After I wipe it,

 will you kiss it?

.

Well, God Bless America

.

Nice to see real patriots treating 

"Old Glory"

 with the respect and honor 

it deserves.

.

Introducing the newest members of 

"The Dumb Ass Club". 

,

Boys Will Be Boys

.

Me Either

.

What A Feeling...

"Flashdance 2"

.

.

This time it's a story

 of a streetwalker

 that dreams of going to ballet school.

.

See, whore's have dreams too.

.

Hide In Plain Site

.

.

You can't see me.

.

It Must Be Their 5th Anniversary ...

.

 because Lisa received the gift of wood.

.

.

Lisa tried being a lesbian once, 

but alas it was not for her.

.

You're NOT Welcome

.

.

Either they were all out of "Welcome" mats

.

or

.

The people that live here are

 a bunch of grouchy bitches.

.

Modern Bedtime Stories

.

.

.

It's Laundry Day ...

.

... and I didn't have anything to wear to the store. 

So I just threw on the last thing that was in my closet.

.

.

Going To The Dogs

.

They were all out of "Beggin' Strips".

.

Big Mac Or Big Crack?

.

So that's the reason

 the food tastes so shitty.

.

Cat Got Your ...

.

Now his breath

 is going to 

taste like pussy 

all day.

.

The Sanctity Of Marriage Part 2

.

If these assholes 

are allowed to marry, 

why can't I?

.

Moving On Up ...

.

Huh?

.

I always thought Gay St. went the "other way".

.

I think it's a different street that goes "both ways."

.

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted ...

.

.

For those that are interested, 

we will be in Ohio for a little vacation

 to visit the family from 

March 18th through the 21st. 

.

Look Out, Ohio! 

Here comes the "Pisser"

.

Have It Your Way

.

Those Burger King Ads

 just keep getting 

creepier and creepier. 

.

They kind of make me lose

 my appetite for their food.

.

Mother Nature Is A Dirty Wench

.

Always eats your vegetables.

.

Inappropriate Laughter

.

If you laugh at this, 

you are going straight to hell.

.

See you there.

.

Sound Advice

.

.

Do They Wobble To An Fro?

.

.

The Pisser's Travel Guide

.

5 towns you should visits

 at least once in your life.

.

.

Hooker, Oklahoma

.

.

Wetwang, England

.

.

Titty - Ho, England

.

.

Dildo, Newfoundland, Canada

.

.

Fucking, Austria

.

This is such a great place, 

I suggest you visit here often.

.

.

When you leave each of these towns, 

do they have a sign that reads 

"Thanks For Coming"?

Honoring The Youth And Elderly

.

Don't blame me,

 I didn't make it.

I just laughed at it.

.

Love, Soft As An Easy Chair ...

.

.

.

.

.

.

Bad News ~ Good News

Lee Redmond was in a car wreck this week and broke all ten of her world record length fingernails. She hadn't cut her nails in thirty years and has appeared on TV many times showing off all 28 feet of them.

.

.

The Bad News:

.

She Lost Her Place In 

The Guinness Book Of World Records

.

The Good News:

.

Today, 

For The First Time Since 1979, 

She Wiped Her Ass. 

.

Ain't She Sweet ...

. 

"Screw you!

I said I wanted Pampers 

and you buy me the freaking Huggies - again!

Damn Woman, you sure are stupid."

.

Remember, It's Limited

.

"The Life Of Christ In Cats"

Commemorative Plate.

.

Someone is going straight to hell, 

and for once, 

it's not me.

.

Seeking Shelter

.