Finding My Way Back

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The Good News Is:

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I quit smoking last week

and now eat healthier

with less fat and salt.

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The Bad News Is:

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I had to have a heart attack with 60% blockage,

a heart catheterization,

and a triple bypass

to convince me that it is time to explore

a new healthier lifestyle.

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I will get back to blogging full time again.

I will still have my same ol' piss and vinegar to share,

but I will also share with everyone my progress and setbacks.

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Recovery Road 01

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One of the good thing about this week is that as I am relatively younger for this type of heart attack, so recovery has and will be easier. I still have a long way to go. In fact, just typing these words is a strain to the muscles across my chest.

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The hardest part was trying to get up to the numbers that they wanted for me to be released from the hospital. I couldn't get above 80%ish blood gasses without an oxygen tank and could not go home until it was at the mid-90's without oxygen.

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Yesterday, I was finally released on the ninth day. When I got home and looked around my dirty messy house, I just burst into tears. I couldn't believe I was finally there. It felt overwhelming. Charley was busy unpacking the car with all of my stuff from the hospital, so when he finally notice me in the living room crying, I had been at it for a least 10 minutes. He asked me why I was crying and I said, "Because I'm Home". He held me for about 5 more minutes and I cried and swayed with him almost like a dance. Then, reality sunk back in and I realized that to reach my arms around Charley' 6' 6" frame, I was holding my arms over my own head.

Reaching up is forbidden.

It was nice while it lasted.

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Swaying in the arms of someone who loves you,

like a tree in the wind,

releasing a weeks worth of pent up emotions

and finally realizing after all these years,

that this wasn't just someplace we moved to,

this is my home and on this day I made it there safe.

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