Give Me An "O"

.

Keep 'Em Coming.

There's more trash to throw out.

.

Everyone Should Have This Shirt

.

I Wonder?

Do illiterate people 

get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

.

Do they see letters 

or just funny shaped noodles.

.

.

If you can't read the dirty word on the spoon, 

then you're illiterate.

If you can read it, 

than thank a teacher.

.

Oh, 

and if you are offended

 by the word in the picture,

 then read it again

and follow the direction.

.

Non-Naughty Joke Of The Day

.

Ice, Ice Baby ...

We had a severe ice storm today.

It was so bad, 

that on my way home from work,

 an ice skater fell out of the sky

 and nearly killed me.

.

.

Seriously, I fell on the ice 

and then slid over the hill,

 down into a ravine next to the road.

I cut my hand, busted my ass,

and bruised my pride.

.

I would say 

that my pride was hurt the most, 

but actually,

 it was my ass.

.

Cat House: Japan

I found another "Cat Mansion" online.

 This one was built in Japan.

Chessie would love to live here.

 I am sure. 

Hell, I would love to live here.

.

.

.

I Wonder?

.

Why is Wednesday called "Humpday", 

when most people get "It" on Saturday.

.

Truth In Advertising

.

I Wonder?

.

Isn’t Disney World

 just a people trap 

operated by a mouse?

.

Fun With Inanimate Objects

.

I guess Cupid ran out of those love arrows.

.

.

Is this statue outside of

 the William Jefferson Clinton 

Presidential Library?

.

.

Are you looking for 

a cheeseburger in paradise?

.

I Wonder?

.

Why do people point to their wrist 

when asking for the time, 

but don’t point to their crotch 

when they ask where the bathroom is?

.

Life Is Short ... Go For It

.

It's a hard habit to break.

.

A Non-Naughty Joke ... Go Figure!

.

A Fresh One For Each New Day...

I have heard of 

"Days Of The Week Panties"

.

But ...

.

.

I never heard of 

"Days Of The Week Pussies"

.

I Can Relate

.

Somedays I, too, have absolutely nothing to say.

.

I Wonder?

.

Who was the first person to say 

“See that chicken there….

I’m gonna eat the next thing 

that comes out of its ass.”

.

I Wonder?

.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 

“I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, 

and drink whatever comes out?”

.

Granny's Supplemental Income

.

A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.  One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.  Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, ‘Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag.’

‘Oh, really?  Darn!’ says the little old lady.  ‘I’d better go back, and see if I can find them.  Thanks for telling me…’

‘Well, now, not so fast,’ says the cop.  ‘How did you get all that money?’ ‘You didn’t steal it, did you?’  ‘Oh, no’, says the little old lady.  ‘You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot.  On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden.  So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers.  Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, ‘$20 or off it comes.’

‘Well, that seems only fair.’ laughs the cop.  OK?  Good luck!  Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?’

 ’Well, you know’, says the little old lady, ‘not everybody pays.’

.

Where's The Expiration Date ...

.

... and who's job is it to test it for freshness?

.

.

.

... and exactly how do you test it?

.

Words Of Wisdom

.

"Never doubt

 that a small group

 of thoughtful, committed citizens

 can change the world. 

Indeed, it is the only thing

 that ever has."

.

- Margaret Mead

.

Wow, I'm Now Among The Super-Rich!

.

A little over a month ago, I placed a google ad on the blog.

I was curious as to how people made money doing a blog. 

Last week, I looked at my statement

 for the month of December

 and I made 0.01.

Yes, you read that right.

I made ONE PENNY for placing an ad on this blog.

Wow !!!

I am beside myself with glee.

What shall I buy with all of my ad money?

.

I Love To See You Smile

.

That outfit is ass-tastic.

.

Is This Considered Cyber Sex?

.

"You better hope that a computer hacker doesn't steal your identity."

.

Or

.

"I hope I don't get a virus from this site."

.

Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic ...

A living, breathing "Barbie Doll"

.

.

I bet she is not on her way to the convent,

but it's just a hunch.

.

I labeled this as "Struck Me Funny", 

because I didn't have a label titled 

"Struck Me Grossed Out".

.

Another Blog Milestone

.

This is my 500th post on the Musings.

I've had a lot of fun doing this blog 

and I hope you have had as much fun reading it.

.

Somedays I've had a lot to say 

and others I just a joke or two.

.

I hope you continue to to join me

 for the next 500.

.

It's A Dog Eat Dog World

.

.

Blog Milestone

Mav's Musings 

hit 10,000 

Page Hits Today.

.

.

.

.

.

Words Of Wisdom

.

Good F@&*%$G Riddance

.

Carry A Big Sticker ...

.

.

I saw this bumper sticker on a car today, 

and I came home and looked for it online.

I found a great online store

 that had many thought provoking bumper stickers and t-shirts.

.

http://carryabigsticker.com/index.html

.

.

.

.

They also have many funny ones as well.

Some fit for a little pisser like me.

.

.

.

.

It is a very liberal minded website,

so if you are a overly conservative minded person

 don't click on the web banner below.

I doubt you are or you wouldn't be here.

.

.

Sugar And Spice And Everything Nice (part 2) ...

.

.

Do You Require Mouth To Mouth?

.

I don't think this is what she expected

 when her condo manager stated

 that there would be a lifeguard on duty.

.

We Have A Guardian Angel

.

The pipes in our laundry room thawed out, 

and as of now,

 they appear to not be broken.

.

It finally warmed up and and now we have snow.

.

Is It Love?

.